Why It’s Selfish If You’re Not Selfish in 2017
How many of you think that the title of this post makes absolutely no sense? Sounds like a complete oxymoron to say that it’s selfish if you’re not selfish, but come along dear F.E.E.D.sters and you will see what I mean.
I will begin by talking about one of my favorite subjects- myself. Let’s be honest, everyone secretly loves talking about themselves even if they will never admit it. So, back to me. I would say that I can definitely categorize myself as a selfish person. I do not want to have children, as I think that they would detract from my self centered lifestyle (I love sleeping, eating in silence, wearing vomit free clothing, traveling unencumbered, and peeing without another human being in the bathroom with me). It annoys me to share my food with anyone, including family and significant others, and I still have to squelch ever erupting internal temper tantrums when I have to do something I don’t feel like doing even if it benefits someone I love. I know, I am an A-hole. Setting aside my obvious shortcomings, I know there are vital components in my life that need to happen in order for me to function well with the rest of society. These non-negotiables include: 8 hours of sleep, food every 3 hours, a workout 5-6 days a week. Some of you might find that to be outrageously high maintenance. To each their own. Now, can I get by without these things? Obviously. Depending on which components have been short changed that day (with the most dangerous combination being hungry AND tired), I turn into a rage filled savage with the patience of an inmate about to break out of jail. When I am lacking in the sleeping, food, exercise departments, I start lashing out at those around me. I am a major B word. My tolerance for other humans diminishes rapidly. I cannot control the sarcasm that will inevitable spew forth from my hangry pie hole.
(Image found at https://torialysha.com/2015/10/08/you-cant-pour-from-an-empty-cup/)
Here’s where the whole “it’s selfish if you’re not selfish” thing comes into play. If I know that there are certain things I need in order to be an enjoyable person for others to be around, it is selfish of me to not give myself those things. It’s selfish of me to have a negative impact on another person’s day, if I could have just made sure to pack a snack. I have to “selfishly” give myself the things I need to keep me happy and healthy, or else I can’t give by best to the rest of society.
When I witness others snapping at airline workers, or remember experiences where clients have been rude and unreasonable to me at work, I wonder how many of those situations could have been solved if they would have taken their selfish moment that day. Whether it be spending 15 minutes with a favorite cup of tea and listening to a podcast, to not giving in to excuses and getting in a morning, endorphin filled workout. We all deserve these selfish moments, although I do think women especially need to be cognizant of making sure they take some “me” time. Sorry dudes, but I’m gonna generalize here and say that women take the brunt of the care taking and cleaning responsibilities, often on top of working as well. The nurturing nature of many women can also be their downfall. Seriously, go get your hair done. No one is benefitting from your 7 month old highlights.
In 2017, instead of thinking it’s selfish to do things that diverge from your work, family, and household duties, turn that thinking upside down. Make 2017 the year of YOU. Now that you have permission to be (a little) self centered, remember the wise words, “It’s selfish if you’re not selfish!”
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