Health Hacks for Lazy People
Nowadays, we pile so many obligations on our plates. We are fully connected at all times via cell phones, computers, and tablets. Even kids today are playing multiple sports and involved in several clubs or activities at all times. Our stress levels are out of control. And while these are entirely first world problems and we all need to watch the Netflix documentary “Dollar a Day” or spend an hour at our nearest homeless shelter so we can all shut our spoiled brat mouths, it is the era in which we live and it does take a toll. The biggest obstacle I hear from people when trying to get healthier is that they don’t have time. There are so many things going on in their lives that meal prep seems near impossible, and carving out a time to work out is laughable. On one hand, I do like to throw the “Bullshit Flag” on this excuse, as I truly believe anything that is a top priority for us, we make time for. I don’t think this can be disputed, even though we can all give ourselves every excuse in the book. Myself, for instance. I always tell myself that I really want better abs. You know why I don’t have them? Because I spend too much time picking my nose (metaphorically) and looking at Pinterest, Facebook, and Instagram every day. I even sit on a stability ball at work for God’s sake. I should look have the most cut abs in this city. But I don’t. Because clearly pinning bathroom makeover ideas on Pinterest is more important to me than getting on the floor and doing some plank exercises.
Anyway, to get back on track from my above rant, while I do believe that we make time for our top priorities no matter which way you slice it, I do understand the feeling of being so overwhelmed with obligations that any free time we have, sometimes we want to hit the couch and zone out on TV for a couple hours because our brains hurt from dealing with our dumb, adult lives. So this ones for you, people who want to get healthier but don’t want to put in a lot of effort.
We live in a world that caters to lazy people (which is a big part of our health crisis). We have every service and convenience imaginable. But instead of these conveniences making your butt bigger (like motorized scooters at the grocery store), here are some time savers that should make your health journey a little easier.
Before I get to this list, I would like to remind everyone of the adage “Time is money”. Some of these suggestions will require you to shell out a few extra bucks. The mathematical laws are ironclad on this principle.
Desire for Health + Laziness = Can’t be a tightwad
Desire for Health + Lazy + Cheap = S.O.L. (That stands for Shit Outta Luck)
I’m pretty sure those formulas are in some very professional, intelligent math book somewhere.
Meals: In Order of Lazy, Lazier, and Laziest
I personally despise going to the grocery store, particularly my neighborhood Norwood Kroger. The patrons and their shenanigans very much sour my grocery store experience. Which is why I love having a grocery delivery service. I often use Green Bean Delivery, which services the local, tristate area. I love it because you can get local and organic meat, dairy, and eggs from nearby farms, plus try local brands that aren’t sold in the grocery stores. During the warmer months, there is a greater variety of locally sourced produce. One of my favorite items from Green Bean is their packages of frozen wheatgrass shots for when I am too lazy or out of the ingredients to make my green smoothies in the morning.
Other great meal services that I have not personally tried but have heard positive feedback about are companies like Hello Fresh, Blue Apron, or The Purple Carrot (organic, plant based meals). These services send you recipes plus the exact ingredients and instructions on how to make the meals. I love this concept because I often look at recipes and do not have a certain spice or know what a leek looks like, and my loathing for stopping at the grocery store overrides my desire to make the recipe. They have it all taken care of for you, you just have to put it together. Most of the meals are 30 minutes or less, too!
If both of the above are still too labor intensive for you, you can skip to this step, which is where I have found myself in my life. I have fully prepared, healthy meals delivered to my doorstep. The ultimate lazy person service, and also the most glorious. I work full time in addition to my health coaching business, often not getting home until after 7:30 at night. So having prepared meals is something I am definitely willing to drop money on. Finding the right service has been a bit of a struggle since I am very particular about ingredients and quality. I was using Health Savor, a local Cincinnati company, but they are currently maxed out with clients and are on waitlist only now! WAH! I recently tried Fresh n’ Lean, and am happy with the food, but the meals are delivered from out of state through Fed Ex and the amount of packaging involved was way too intense for my eco conscious self and can’t be returned to the company. There was a large styrofoam cooler filled with cold gel packs inside of a larger cardboard box. I might use them again and order a larger amount of meals to freeze so I don’t have to order as often. I also use a chef friend who is willing to make meals for me during the week. Another option is a company called Forkable Feast in Oakley where you can pick up freshly made dinners that just require re-heating. The search for the perfect meal delivery company continues, and I will keep you updated!
Other grocery tips: You can get almost anything pre-prepped. If you don’t want to cut up veggies, get frozen, chopped broccoli. Trader Joes has butternut squash already cubed. They even have pre-sliced apples for goodness’ sake. We can do this!
Fitness: In order of Lazy, Lazier, and Laziest
Unfortunately we can’t get the round butts and toned arms we want by laying on the couch all night, so this category will require some effort. If your own mental berating and easily dissolved willpower won’t give you enough motivation to work out, shell out the cash for a personal trainer. You will be held accountable to someone, and you will have to schedule it into your calendar. They will kick your butt in the short amount of time allotted, and their job is to make sure you see results. I love Cincy 360 Fitness off of Red Bank Rd.
If you want free fitness that doesn’t require you to leave the house, I can’t talk up YouTube enough. I literally use it almost every day for my workouts. There is a wide variety from HIIT workouts to yoga, and I never get bored. I have found my favorite instructors and channels and I fire up a video each morning and hit my workout room. If you don’t have a workout room, there are so many videos that require minimal space or equipment. Here are some of my favorite channels: Millionaire Hoy, Qinetic Live, Fitness Blender, JessicaSmithTV, Christine Salus, Yoga by Candace, I could go on. Once you start doing workouts you like, YouTube will recommend other instructors and channels that you can save and you can build your own personal list of favorites.
Want to put in even less effort? Here are workouts and tips specifically for lazy people: The Lazy Person’s Workout Plan, 1o New Ways to Overcome Workout Laziness, 10 Minute Lazy Girl Workout (you don’t even have to get up off the floor!), 10 Minute TV Time Couch Workout, A Netflix Workout You Can Do On Your Couch, 9 Quick, Total Body Workouts, No Equipment Needed
Honestly, healthy living doesn’t have to consume your entire life. It’s small changes implemented daily that really turn things around. I would like to remind everyone that without our health, we have nothing. Your cool car doesn’t mean jack if your butt is too big to fit in the seat. You can’t take the best care of your family if you are too stressed to enjoy them on a daily basis, or you have a heart attack and aren’t there to see them. Your iphone won’t help you from wheezing when you walk up a short flight of stairs. This is our ONE life! Why waste it living at 30% of how amazing we can feel? To quote one of my favorite TV characters, Ron Swanson, “Never half ass two things. Whole ass one thing.” So let’s get our whole, lazy asses out there and get healthy!