Who out there groans automatically when their alarm goes off in the morning because you aren’t sure you can fathom getting out of bed to drive to a pointless job that erodes a little bit more of your soul every day? You accept your fate that you can’t leave this job because the paycheck is the only way you can pay for your bills, your housing, and your current lifestyle. You have to be practical and responsible because that’s what adults do.
Just as an NFL referee will throw a penalty flag, I am going to throw an imaginary “Bullshit Flag” on the above sentiments. I am allowed to be the B.S. ref because I have been there. One of the harshest lessons I have learned to date is that only I am responsible for my fate. I am the only one that creates my current circumstances, even if it seems I have been dealt a crappy card. A bad situation can be made 100 times worse by a rage filled, negative reaction and a bad perspective. It’s kind of a terrible but necessary lesson to learn, because when you want to spin around wildly and point the finger of blame on someone… it comes back to yourself. Ow, burn! Here are the steps I took to end my own self-sabotage and start creating a life that made the sound of my alarm a positive signal for the start of a new day, instead of the sound of impending doom.
1.) Stop making excuses
I’m in a bad mood because he cut me off, because they messed up my coffee order, because my skirt came out of the dryer with a hole in it. I can’t get healthier because I don’t have time, I don’t know what to eat, I don’t need to worry about it until I get sick. These are all just excuses we give ourselves to stifle fear and point fingers of blame. Is it way more comfortable to be able to blame someone or something else? Absolutely. However, taking that road will lead you to a big field in the middle of Nowheresville. The best resource I have found that gave me the lightbulb moment to shed my own personal excuses was the book “Excuses Be Gone!: How to Change Lifelong, Self-Defeating Thinking Habits” by the late but infinitely great Dr. Wayne Dyer. It is so great that I would like to start a personal campaign to make it required reading in all schools.
2.) Learn from the best
Can you think of a person that is living the awesome life you want to live? Instead of being jealous and telling yourself you could never do that, why don’t you learn from their process? We are capable of things beyond our most wildest, glorious imaginings, but we hold ourselves back from exploring our full potential. If you want to be a millionaire, why don’t you read up on your favorite one? Learn their back-story, their process, their thinking habits, and their routines. Success guru Tony Robbins suggests this method, and he has clearly used it to the maximum. I am an obsessive reader, so I will read anything I can get my hands on about people I admire and aspire to be. If you would rather eat bugs than read a book, audio books, podcasts, documentaries, and video blogs are alternate resources that work just as well.
3.) Swap “Worst Case Scenario” thinking for “Best Case Scenario” thinking
Before embarking on a road less traveled, we often stress about the “what ifs”. And most of the “what ifs” end in scary, embarrassing, ego-crushing balls of fire. What if we caught ourselves before our minds hurtled into a dungeon of failure and we thought about the best-case scenario of our endeavors? For example, instead of being scared to post this blog post and have the fear that readers might hate it and think its stupid, I can look at the best-case scenario. What if I post my article and Channing Tatum reads it? What if he then comes to the conclusion that I am a modern day literary genius and feels compelled to show his appreciation for my craft by inviting me to be the recipient of a re-enactment of the last scene in Magic Mike Two? Boom. Best-case scenario.
Sometimes, a little kicking of our own butts is the remedy to end self-sabotage. If we take the steps to get out of our own way, our new self can go flying by our old self, honking the horn and speeding down the highway towards a new life that we can embrace and love. The best thing about it is that on this highway, there are no speeding tickets. Pedal to the metal!
I am your partner in health crime. I ask you important questions and create strategy on how to improve your performance. I help you make good choices and am your support system on this winding highway to health.